Otolith

    My mother found many mackerel ‘ear bones’ in her jewelry box when sorting through the many possessions my grandmother had left behind. She grew up by the sea and loved fishing, often joining the fishermen on trips whenever she returned home to visit. I wondered why she never talked about this, or if I simply hadn’t been listening closely enough. Fish have three pairs of ear bones (otoliths) that are used for hearing and balance. I wondered what else she had never shared and wished to have known her outside of her role as grandma. 

   I didn’t even know until a few years before her passing that she had once desperately wanted to leave my grandfather. That they often didn’t speak to each other for days on end, even while inhabiting the same space. This series is a love letter, an apology, and a remonstrance. It’s a way to process loss as well as an inquiry into familial roles and how we can lose sight of the person behind them.